This month of Ramadhan is the most memorable and meaningful to me so far. Alhamdulillah. Time had flies so fast and we're already in the 3rd phase of Ramadhan. We'll be celebrating Aidilfitri in less than a week. All in all, I've learnt a lot and looking forward for more in the future. Especially in the event of seeking forgiveness to the AlMighty and creatures of the world.
The holy month of Ramadhan presents us all with timely reminders on the act of forgiving. When we bring ourselves to forgive, both the forgiver and the forgiven are blessed. One learns to let go and move on, the other experiences the grace of being forgiven and learns mercy. InsyaALLAH.
Our emotion play a vital role in our lives. Whether it is excitement, joy, gratitude, love, anger, resentment, melancholy, guilt - all our emotions help us understand who we are. They are indicators of what's going on inside us. They help us celebrate the wonders of this life and warn us of the dangers we are in. But once too often, we forget that the range of our emotions is meant to complement our life, not determine it.
There are usually two things which get me all knotted up inside. The first is when others have done something unkind to me and the second is when I have been unkind to myself and others. These are the times when I had to struggle with the emotions of anger, guilt and self-condemnation. It was impossible at times to find a refuge from these strong, and ultimately destructive emotions. So, it became easy then to shift the focus of blame for the pain I was suffering. But when I did that, I also felt my energy, creativity and capabilities being sapped from my mind and body.
I believe that to forgive and forget can be the highest form of human evolution. In forgiving we allow another person to be human with all their faults and mistakes. In forgetting we leave these faults behind, no longer letting them be a barrier in our relationships.
But some question continue to plague me.
"But how can I forget? Shouldn't I recognize the ills of the world and its potential for unkindness? Don't I need to protect myself against more hurt and build up some defences?"
My questions were answered when I finally understood the true meaning of forgetting. I realized that by 'forgetting' I did not mean 'not to remember' but to be able to acknowledge something without being emotionally disturbed by it. To forget means to view the incident as something that occurred in the past, and event that we have learnt from and have grown as a result.
It is time now to place the responsibility on ourselves and free ourselves by simply forgiving and forgetting. Let us declare to ourselves that we are independent of the need for others to validify us and make us feel good. Let us release our fears and those irrational beliefs. Let's manage our emotion and not allow them to manage us.
Ramadhan is the blessed season to forgive and forget, to love and live. Cherish it while it last. I know we still can seek for forgiveness anytime. But believe me, it will be more meaningful when we do it during this holy month. After all, Ramadhan is also known as 'bulan Keampunan'.
"To err is human, to forgive, divine." - Alexander Pope
I'll be away starting tomorrow until 25th Sept 2009. And I'm not sure I can get hold of the Internet in between. So, I'm here wishing you Salam Aidilfitri and Maaf Zahir Batin. Have a great, meaningful one. Drive carefully to all drivers. Ingatlah orang yang tersayang. ;)