Salam Maal Hijrah 1430H and Happy New Year 2009 to all.Haha. I start my 2nd-day of new year by a phone call from my elder sis, battery keta mati! benci kan? Nak duit je. But, ada hikmah, InsyaAllah. And then, rush for work. I've scheduled to work 1pm shift this month. So, it's a full-no-life-month! Huhu. (what do you expect to do when you work 1pm-10pm everyday, and your off-day not fall on Saturday or Sunday?)
It has been a gloomy-not-so-sunny day today. I feel sad. I'm not sure if 'sad' is the right word to describe what I feel. Its there but still not the exact word to describe it. Gloomy? Yeah! Maybe. I can't sleep last night. Not really sleeping. I woke up in the middle of the night. Doing nothing. Doing exactly nothing. Nothing on my mind. Then, I cried. Heavy tears. Thinking about my family, my losses, my love. And my mistakes.
People make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, including me. None if us exclusive enough not to make mistakes.
People make mistakes and sometimes they hide it. They won't tell unless they have to, when they need to. Why? Why sometimes people don't wanna own up to their mistakes? Why sometimes they have to keep the secret to grave and have it bury underneath with them?
I did a lot of mistakes in the past. And I kept secrets too. But I'm not proud of it. Never. Sometimes, I woke up crying in the middle of the night. Regretting that I made that stupid mistakes. I know I can't go back in time to make amendments of the past.
That's why I need second chance. I want to start 'that' part. The part where I make it right. Make it better. Better than yesterday, better than before. Better than last year.
I'm asking You. Please. I want a second chance. I want a NEW year. I hope it was off to a good start. :)
p/s: one can only hope. :(