Friday, January 2, 2009

A Second Chance, A NEW year.

Salam Maal Hijrah 1430H and Happy New Year 2009 to all.
Haha. I start my 2nd-day of new year by a phone call from my elder sis, battery keta mati! benci kan? Nak duit je. But, ada hikmah, InsyaAllah. And then, rush for work. I've scheduled to work 1pm shift this month. So, it's a full-no-life-month! Huhu. (what do you expect to do when you work 1pm-10pm everyday, and your off-day not fall on Saturday or Sunday?)

It has been a gloomy-not-so-sunny day today. I feel sad. I'm not sure if 'sad' is the right word to describe what I feel. Its there but still not the exact word to describe it. Gloomy? Yeah! Maybe. I can't sleep last night. Not really sleeping. I woke up in the middle of the night. Doing nothing. Doing exactly nothing. Nothing on my mind. Then, I cried. Heavy tears. Thinking about my family, my losses, my love. And my mistakes.

People make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, including me. None if us exclusive enough not to make mistakes.

People make mistakes and sometimes they hide it. They won't tell unless they have to, when they need to. Why? Why sometimes people don't wanna own up to their mistakes? Why sometimes they have to keep the secret to grave and have it bury underneath with them?

I did a lot of mistakes in the past. And I kept secrets too. But I'm not proud of it. Never. Sometimes, I woke up crying in the middle of the night. Regretting that I made that stupid mistakes. I know I can't go back in time to make amendments of the past.

That's why I need second chance. I want to start 'that' part. The part where I make it right. Make it better. Better than yesterday, better than before. Better than last year.

I'm asking You. Please. I want a second chance. I want a NEW year. I hope it was off to a good start. :)

p/s: one can only hope. :(

16 comments:

Kniedaz said...

Hope 2009 will be the year for the better of us..

CAHAYA said...

Thanks kNiedaz. Happy new year :)

haritz said...

Hope u get what u want in this year. happy new year to u. Jika kita dapat peluang kedua guna sebaiknya kerana ia tidak selalu hadir :)

CAHAYA said...

thanks haritz. Kalau dpt lah peluang tu. :(

:) Hope for the best. Yeay!

Amer Yusof said...

kesilapan adalah pembuka jalan.

selamat tahun baru hijrah dan masihi

CAHAYA said...

Thanks AmerYusof. Harap² begitulah. Semoga kesilapan Cahaya yang lepas membuka kepada jalan yang benar lagi sahih dan yang terang. :)

:: Cikgu Wiween :: said...

akak! happy new year! ;)

Faisal Admar said...

eh her car battery or yours? borrow money from you for car battery? goodness. i can't imagine if its bigger damage to the car or some other part broken. hehe.

yes agree with you. with that shift you hardly have a life :P lucky me! :P

ah dear. you should not think of bad or sad things before or after sleep. it will just lead you to depression. try to think of something good such as sweet memories or good scenery? greeny maybe?

everybody have skeleton in their closet cahaya. even me got many skeletons too. sometimes its better to hide rather than to reveal. got it? :)

second chance? do you really believe in second chance? me? i don't believe in second chance. no... not me. to me, you got one chance and if you don't grab it, then you gonna lose it. its simple. but that's me. i give people chance. but if they push it away. there's no second chance. and if i don't grab my chance, i don't seek for second chance either. its either you take it, or not. that's it.

happy new year cahaya! a fruitful one i hope.

i just want more income and great vacation for my new year!

landaklaut said...

insya-Allah..
some people say, don't look back. but sometimes you have to look back so that you will not do the same mistake again. I wish you a happy new year too :)

izan said...

cahaya,

mulakan tanpa lengah.... masa tidak menunggu kita... kita mengejar masa..
semoga cahaya terus suksess... insyaallah.

mummysyafie said...

selamat tahun baru cahaya!!

CAHAYA said...

cikguWiween,

happy new year. yeay!~~ sekolah nak bukak dah kan cikgu?

-----------------------------------

faisalAdmar,

dia pakai keta i lor. so battery keta i la. kalau ikutkan sejarah tukar bateri, memang keje kakak i je. everytime dia pakai keta, mesti ada hal. bukan salahkan dia, but, it such a bad luck! nasib boleh tolak hutang dia kat i. so, melepas la extra income tuh!

one thing that's good about 1pm working shift. I can save more money. Instead of extra allowance, I have plenty of time to cook for my meal (save duit, sebab kat ofis ada KFC and ayamas je, or kedai mamak, which sangat² mahal!), save duit parking (parking DBKL tu check before kul 1pm), save duit dr keluar joli dengan kawan²(since takde life kan?). So, I look on positive side lor (nak sedapkan hati je ni. Huhu).

greeny? haha. terbayang SHREK and HULK plak. huhu. Scenery kang terbayang citer hantu. Huhu. :) Joking! I know I should think of something beautiful, like brand new HONDA CIVIC. Huhu.

Yep, better keep it that way. I've learnt from mistakes. And this includes too. Reveal it might be a biggest mistakes ever. Haha.

I don't believe in second chance either. But, I want a second chance. I know it's so much to ask for, and I don't think I will get it though. Just trying my luck. Mana la tahu tahun baru ni kan?

Have a great 2009 faisalAdmar. :) I wish for more money too. I love to travel gak. But kawan² I dah start saving for marriage. Huhu. I nak buat ape ngan duit tu. Bukan leh bawak mati pun. :(

CAHAYA said...

landaklaut,

look back maybe not a best thing to do. Just don't repeat the same mistakes. I want a fresh start. A fresh 2009! Boleh tak?

-----------------------------------

iZan,

yep! setiap saat tu berharga. dan Cahaya takkan kenang ape yang hilang. Tapi akan kutip yang hilang itu dan cuba buat sehabis baik. InsyaAllah. Doakan yer. :)

Salam tahun baru :)

CAHAYA said...

salam tahun baru mummySyafie. Hope tahun ni mummy dpt kumpul beg Guess dengan jayanya. Hehe. :) Selamat hantar Abang ke sekolah yer. :) Jgn lambat plak!

Mat Cendana said...

Thanks for visiting my blog (Recovery) and leaving a comment. I'm wondering where you had gotten the link... Ted Baker, most likely(?)

The "Second Chance": I've lived long enough to realise this - Everyone needs it in a lot of things. Sometime "Third", "Fourth"... The problem is, we might not get it.

And sometimes we don't even get a "First Chance"! Well, that's how life is, and I try to accept and follow the advice of the Narcotics Anonymous fellowship: To "Live life on Life's terms".

CAHAYA said...

thanks to you too MatCendana. FYI, I followed the link from Arep's blog. But still, I got to Arep's from Ted's. :)

I'm just trying my luck. I know it is so much to ask for. And its a very good chance that I might not get it.

Now I believe, I don't need a second chance. I just go with the flow. And hopefully the chances will fall in between. :)

To think over and over about my mistakes may not the best way to tackle and so called 'make-the-part-right'. The action counts. So better work it out from now on.

I don't want it to be too late. :(