Sunday, August 16, 2009

Kawan or Sahabat?



But when the real ones are far far away, you can’t help it but to turn on to the less important ones which will eventually makes them the real ones and the former real ones into the less important ones?

Urgh! Enough crap talk at this hour!

Truth is, I have lost a lot of faith in having friends will do me good. The bad experiences outweighed the good ones by a far mile. And seeing this early in the morning kick starts my day in a very warm and fuzzy vibe. ;)

There’s a difference between having friends and acquaintances, just as there is a difference in being called a ‘kawan’ and a ‘sahabat’, aight?

16 comments:

Ad Rifza said...

Sukar sebenarnya nak differentiate antara kawan dgn sahabat..Kdg2 yang kita anggap sahabat juga lama2 jadi kawan jer..Yang jadi kawan lama2 jadi sahabat pun ada..hehe..
Yang penting kalau kita jumpa sahabat kita sebenarnya beruntung..sbb tidak ramai yang mampu jadi sahabat..agree or not?..hehe

CAHAYA said...

Ad,

Sahabat memang susah nak cari. Nak differentiate pun susah. Tak semua orang boleh terima kekurangan dan kesalahan kita masa lampau, dan seadanya.

Cahaya bersyukur sebab ada antara kawan2 yang menjadi sahabat kerana boleh beri kita kritikan ikhlas tanpa ada niat2 lain dan tujuannya untuk kebaikan diri kita sendiri.

Paling takut ialah bila ada orang berpura2 jadi kawan kita, tapi dalam masa yang sama menikam kita untuk kepentingan diri mereka. Sedih. Tapi itu berlaku.

Porcelain Doll said...

Betul betul betul... Kekadang yang dulu sahabat tu la yang tikam belakang. Dari kawan jadi sahabat then musuh. Tha's why i rather keep only few to be close with. And I think i only have less than 3 people that i confide in everything...

The best is to have different sets of friends,
one you talk only about work, one to go out and play and only few ones that you share everything for check and balance. The one yang tak judgmental, not bias and neutral.

Inah said...

cant agree more with you on this..how easy to find a friend but it's not easy to find buddies..

CAHAYA said...

Doll,

Good friends are those who stab us in the front. They know us well enough and care about us. Only enemy who stab on our back.

Honestly, I don't have many friends. I have 2 best friends whom I can share everything with them. It has been a good almost 11 years I know them. We've been living together back then during university years and now while we're working. I love their honest comment about me and when I hurt them unintentionally, they tell me directly at my face. I like that!

Yeah! I have few sets too. It's not that I differentiate them one another. Just want to keep distance and length to few that I don't know well enough.

CAHAYA said...

Inah,

It's never easy. Hope we all will find our buddies, where we can share and hold on to one another. Not many now available in the market.

Jard The Great said...

i'm just glad that i still hav friends.. ehehehe..

CAHAYA said...

Jard,

Good for you gurl! ;) I hope I'm one of them.

Honeydy Love said...

You are really good in words. well, i think you should dedicate it to yrself first.
kawan takkan lukakan hati kawan kan. lain lah ada udang disebalik maggie.
where, sahabat sanggup berkorban demi sahabat yang lain. bukan menikam dari belakang. i have ask you not to disturb him at da moment rite...? you have agreed but blkg i, u buat. juz leave him alone, please ok. i sanggup pegi kl, tlg u on yr diet program. bukan nak ungkit, but you fikir apa untungnya kalau i tlg? ada i minta apa2 balasan? tak! i cuma minta respect privacy org lain.
you juz concentrate on yrself. make yrself precious ok dear. dun think too much. and concentrate on you beloved ones. duk nak fikir orang lain, kang sendiri punya terkucar kacir. think wisely. Jgn fikir negative. you are good in words but not good in practising it..
I hope you will take this in a positive way.
Tcare..
Assalammualaikum..

CAHAYA said...

Salam Honey, (please read this with an open heart, mind, and soul. If it do hurt you in anyway, please tell me so.)

I dedicate this to myself. In fact, all in this blog is for me and about me. Not others. Too bad if it does hurt others which is not my intention at all. Demi ALLAH!

I hope I didn't hurt you. I know you asked me not to disturb him. Seriously, I don't want anything to do with him either. But a lot of things happen which need to be settled from both sides. And we need communication. Ignoring things can't solve any of this. It's not that I ignored your warning, I just do what I have to do. And do what I believe the best at that moment. As for now, I won't disturb him. Not until I have what he wants. That's all. And when that time comes, it will be the very last. Period.

I know you help me a lot. Thanks so much. Please don't get me wrong. I taknak dianggap sebagai tak kenang budi plak nanti. Few other friends also helping me through my weight lost project. I put everything in a journal which will be published in a month. I did include you as well. I've stopped using or following your crucial way of dieting after I'm not feeling well. My body can't take it. I'm sorry. You're really tough, girl. Not everyone has this kinda determination and guts like you. And I'm one of them. I guess I need to take a smaller step in order to achieve my goals.

I wish to ignore everything and only concentrate on myself. But life isn't that way. And I'm not selfish. I have people around me. I have my past and I hope, futures too. I need to include some people in my present. And this is nothing regarding love or whatsoever. It's just life.

Thanks for your words Honey. An honest one from you which I will treasure. I never good in words. And I've a lot more to learn. I know I'm too old to say that. Sorry, but my learning process might start a bit late from everyone else.

Take care too. And have a nice day! Thanks again.

Dj Epoi said...

Salam.....

Dalam Mencari Kawan......hati dan naluri memainkan peranan yg paling2 penting!

Susah kalau nak nilai kawan ataupon sahabat daripada melihat bentuk fizikal nya......

Tapi Bagi Gua.....dalam Bab2 P&C Gua suka meluahkan pada sahabat daripada Keluarga....

CAHAYA said...

Bro Dj,

Betul tu. Setuju sangat. Dulu Cahaya selalu cakap: Orang skang ni berkawan nak dengan yang cantik je, Musuh pun diorang nak yang cantik. Cahaya rasa rendah diri sangat. So, rasa rendah diri dah makan diri sendiri.

Ramai dah buka mata Cahaya yang hidup ini bukan hanya kerana rupa dan harta dunia. Tapi yang paling bermakna ialah harta hati kita yang kita akan bawa hingga ke syurga: amalan, hubungan sesama manusia dan Tuhan, kenangan, jasa, kebaikan dan lain2 perkara2 yang baik.

Kita luahkan perasaan pada orang paling selesa dengan kita. Cahaya pun macam tu. Bila selesa dengan seseorang, Cahaya akan share macam2 dengan dia. Tapi Cahaya kadang2 terbawa2. Bukan semua orang nak dengar masalah kita. Cahaya dah belajar dr cerita lalu. Harap takkan berulang.

Porcelain Doll said...

Well said Darling... That's true, in the front, straight to the heart and right in front of us...

Whoaaa!!! 11 years! I envy you... At least, you have them, kan? And yes, few sets is good. It always work out fine as long as you don't mix them. I have bad experience on this one. Yg best tu, not once but more than twice. I guess, I never really learn my lesson well...

o the new ones, don't trust them easily. Trust is something they have to earn and of course, respect too. Once you think they have this too, you can start sharing but not all... Lil by little, until the relationship mature... I'm learning too and i have to admit, I almost give up.

CAHAYA said...

Doll,

Trust is one thing. Respect is another. I've learned my lesson now, babe. I guess we can't expect more from someone that we don't really know. But if the great one stop by, I'm sure I will be most grateful.

Friendship needs time. If it stays longer in the being, sure it will stay forever in our heart. Don't give up, Doll. Take life as a lesson where we learn from our own experience. It worth looking back and smile to it someday. InsyaALLAH.

Selamat berpuasa, Doll. ;)

iNsOmNiAc said...

Dear Cahaya,
I can totally relate to your issue...
I just ended what I thot a precious frenship myself.
Then it hit me, it's either I'm too dumb to distinguish a fren frm a foe or maybe it is THAT hard to differentiate...
Haih... I dunno...
But yeah, frenship is simpler when we're a lot younger, dun you think?

CAHAYA said...

iNsOmNiAc,

We don't always have a clue when it about to happen. Things just happen the way it suppossed (or not) to be. There are no specific guidelines what to choose and whats not. We can never be too careful or careless about anything nowadays.

I guess, we just need to go with the flow. Surely we'll welcome a lotsa friends to our life. And the foe might stop by again in the future. But make sure it won't ruined us like before. Lesson learnt.

I like my childhood and my childhood friends. No heart feelings between us. And no one bothers to hurt one another. We were too busy having fun and chasing rainbows back then. ;)