My First Love.

I have strong passion and undivided love for my first and only love. I fell in love over and over again with the same first love. Even until now.

My first love is music. The first time I really listen to one is when I was 9 years old. It was the era of 90s; Ace of Base, Duran Duran, M.C Hammer, and ongoing act from the 80s; Paula Abdul, Billy Idol, Janet Jackson etc. I tuned to the same radio station everyday and secretly at night.

The secret burst out after half a year. My dad smashed the radio into pieces after I quarreled with my sister about our conflict of interest. It was my fault, I know. She wants to sleep. I didn't want to turn off the radio just because the DJ said they will play 'Come Undone' next. She started to scream and yelling; "Bisinglah!" over and over, and made my dad came knocking on our bedroom doors. And without another word, the radio was on the floor, smashed!

I cried that night. And the day after. But not the day after that.

My friend offered me her Walkman. On loan basis, of course. I smiled. My first love was in my arm. Even it was on loan basis. I craved for Nirvana, Alice In Chains, Hootie & the Blowfish, Pearl Jam, and of course some big emotional singer like Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Madonna and Bryan Adams. I returned the Walkman to the owner right before I sat for UPSR.

The result for UPSR was out. And there was a gift on the table when I came back that day. It was small, not so tiny, and a bit flat. "It was for you," my dad said. I opened it, and I cried for few hours. Speechless. I was the happiest person on earth on that day. Thanks, Ayah.


It was a tape recorder. Plus with FM/AM features. And there was 'SONY' written on top of it. The very first song I've heard from my SONY was 'All That She Wants' by Ace of Base. I smiled. I had my first love in my arm again. And this time, it was mine. My secondary school years were superb. Smooth sailing till year 1998 with gigs and concerts in between. And not to forget my SONY was still beside me.

I went to MMU few months after SPM. And I brought my SONY with me, but only for a few months. I left it at home when I've transferred to Cyberjaya on 2000. I guess I was kinda forget about SONY's loyalty. Maybe, I was too eager of the technology. It was millennium, so they say. No one listen to those cassettes anymore. I need to catch up. And I never saw SONY again after I left it at home that day. Not even a glimpse.


I found my SONY today in the store room. Covered in dust. It has been almost 10 years. I pressed PLAY button. 'Crash Boom Bang' by Roxette was playing loud. And I cried. Childishly.

Sorry love that I've forgotten you. But I won't forget you ever again. You'll be with me till the end. You are my first love. You will always be my love. I'll make sure of that. I promise!