Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Attention Seeker.


Do you happen to know any attention seeker? How do you deal with him/her?

I was driving just now to office when I heard the FlyFm's DJ talked about attention seeker. I'm so surprised to know that attention seeking behavior is actually a syndrome. And there's a name to it. A lot of callers called to share their experiences. I do have my own experiences with one (actually more than one).

I know few friends that like to be the center of attention all the time.

1st case - Friend A
I would say, she is very pretty. She's nice when she being herself when no one 'worth' around. Her personality will change all of sudden; being super friendly, whenever there's a lot of people (especially guys) around her. She will suddenly burst into tears/ laughs when she's not the being attend to. Or she will passed out and said that she caught a very unexplainable illness which includes migraine and something regards her respiratory system.

2nd case - Friend B
He's a good looking guy. He's very helpful and fun to be with. The thing is, he will not being himself when he's in the crowd. He will become annoying, said hi to all and asked them with ridiculous question such as - "Do you love me?" or "Aku handsome tak?". He will constantly ask until no one listen to him. And then, he will make up stories that there's a lot of chicks are dying to get him in bed with them, and so on.

It's sad to be that kind of a person.I think that perhaps they are very insecure and they have to make up things to impress others or to make them look good. But what good will do if you're lying, right?

Quoted from this website,

Human beings are social creatures and need social interaction, feedback, and validation of their worth. The emotionally mature person doesn't need to go hunting for these. They gain it naturally from their daily life, especially from their work and from stable relationships.

The emotionally immature person has low levels of self-esteem and self-confidence and consequently feels insecure. To counter these feelings of insecurity they will spend a large proportion of their lives creating situations in which they become the center of attention. It may be that the need for attention is inversely proportional to emotional maturity, therefore anyone indulging in attention-seeking behaviors is telling you how emotionally immature they are.

How do you deal with this kinda person? Some people say, just ignore them. Some say, drift away from them. And some, just confess that you don't like their attitude. My choice will be no2. I will drift away from this annoying jerk. How about you?

peace.love.respect('cahaya')

I don't wanna run away
Baby you're the one I need tonight

No promises

Baby now I need to hold you tight

I just wanna die in your arms

Here tonight

30 comments:

suezensuzanna said...

ahaks...for me..layan saje...then biler dh x leh blah..just talk to him....u r so annoying man!!:D

CAHAYA said...

The thing is, I'm not that blunt. Tak sampai hati kot.

Dakjaat™ said...

need attention? dakjaat tak macam tu .. lagi suke buat hal sendiri .. :p

MariaFaizal said...

If these people are really good looking, inside out, they don't have to be attention seekers.

Others will be magnetically attracted to them naturally :D

kcynodia said...

haha..kadang-kadang rasa tak nak melayan je jumpa kawan camtu. btw, untuk menjaga hati dan perasaannya, kita berkorbanlah untuk seketika...

iNsOmNiAc said...

darl, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, just say it to their face, at least they'll know not to be so theatrical whenever you're around :p

p/s: owh btw, u can read more on histrionic personality disorder ;)

Jard The Great said...

peh.. for me.. I might just run away... hehehe..

CAHAYA said...

Dakjaat,

I guess you don't read the post. Hehe. Normal people don't go seeking for attention. It just happen naturally. So am I, normal!

You suka buat hal sendiri? Bagus lah tak jadi busy body. Tapi itu bukan hal yg dibincangkan di sini. Take care.

CAHAYA said...

Maria Faizal,

Yeah! They don't have to go until that extend just to be popular. But sometimes, only them know what they really want and what are they looking for.

I can't agree more on that natural attention. It just happen naturally if they're sincere. If not, they just keep repeating the same drama every chances they got.

CAHAYA said...

Kcynodia,

Haha. Itu kot yang Cahaya buat skang ni. Akur je apa drama diorang. Kadang2 diam je. Tapi part2 pengsan dan sakit sana sini tu mane boleh diamkan je. Kalau jadi biasanya Cahaya akan cakap pada kawan2 lain yang perkara ni selalu jadi, dan dia akan okay selepas kejadian. Terutamanya bila Cahaya dah tak tahan.

Selagi terdaya tahan tu Cahaya akan diamkan aje. Kalau orang kecoh2 tolong. Cahaya rileks tak kaget pun. :P

CAHAYA said...

Insomniac,

Huhu. I want to be cruel. I want to be blunt and say right on their face. But I just can't do it. Malas nak kecoh2 even it's not me who being such drama queen at that time.

Yucks!

p/s: histrionic? Okay, I'm 'Google'ing it now.

CAHAYA said...

Jard,

Running away obviously won't give you long last solution. If lets say they just passed out in front of you, what will you do? Do you run? Huhu. I don't think so.

I somehow realize that pretend you don't notice such behavior really works. There's one incident where we all went to a club and start dancing. Suddenly, she burst into tears because the song reminded her of her ex boyfriend. We just pretend we didn't notice that she's crying. She even went louder. Until to one point, she just stop. And we were still on the dance floor, ignoring!

I know it will be chaos if we just ignored someone passed out in front of us.

Try that. We never know it will work if we don't try.

chempaka said...

oh.. i have friends like that. most of the time, i will look away and pretend that i don't know them. huhuhu.. entahlah sometimes they don't realise that their behaviour nak seek attention tu actually memalukan orang lain. tsk tsk. do u think attention seeker people exist in blogging world too?

Faisal Admar said...

who doesn't like attention?
just not too much will do :)

@xiM said...

Agreed with Faisal Admar..
who doesn't like attention??
in fact,PEOPLE do need attention from others,
to feel like they being apreciated from others..

BUT,
there's a but here..not too much will do..somehow i just dont understand people who just dong annoying thing or become drama queen to gain attention and at the end of da day it backfired on them..

Be realistic and don't pretend to be someone we are not..that will make us a better person..admit when we go wrong,and try to avoid from repeat the same mistakes..

i think attention seeker should attend concelling session,to ensure they beg for attention in such a good manner..

Like i said before,attention is a must but dont abuse it..

take care CAHAYA!!

CAHAYA said...

Chempaka,

Woa, nice moves. I hope I can do that too. My friends sometimes intentionally speaks louder than normal/usual tone just to attract few head turners. It even worst when it is in quiet place and with only few people around. And true enough, Cahaya rasa malu.

Attention seeker in blogging world may not so obvious in appearances. But it doesn't mean we validate such actions. People who searching for followers and comments are those in this same categories. Except they don't passed out in front of us. Or even if they did, we know nothing about it. :P

CAHAYA said...

Faisal Admar,

True enough that people need attention. And it must not be overflowed.

------------------------------------------------------------

Axim,

Yeah! Kinda agree too. People do need attention. Attention from friends and family. What I meant in this post is the one who are so annoying and likes creating drama and scenes in public. Are you the one too?

There are some that like to attract attention by screaming over nothings and sometimes laugh out loud just to caught the eyes of public. And there are also some who like to be such a drama queen by crying and ask people to comfort them. There are a lot more. But I guess you get the main idea, right?

This kinda person will make everything is about her/him and no one else. It's like only them deserve the happiness in the world. I agreed on the counseling part. As I said in the post, it's a syndrome and further psychiatric consult needed to this attention seeker. For counseling, you can called 15999 for assistance.

Attention should come naturally. Just be what we are. And so what if we're not popular. :)

Take care too Axim!

Nem0 o0h Nem0 said...

bg sy org cmtu,layan kan aje.. kalo da tak leh blah,juz slow talk.. =)

Monkey D Luffy said...

hahha

aku pun ada kenal sorang mamat

pelik

As said...

boleh wat medical cases nih :P

HEMY said...

haa..aku penah dgar citer schoolmate pada roommate aku..nnt aku citer la kat entri terbaru

Anonymous said...

There are a lot of attention seekers out there. The way to get the attention varies - workplace, kitchen, etc. I don't really buy their stories anyway. It's either you tell them to their face, or walk away. I do both :)

CAHAYA said...

Nemo,

Yeah, slow talk might work. But mostly people with this behavior are the worst case scenarios. Bila kita nasihat or cakap pada dia, time tu je berubah, esok konfem dia pretend like the slow talk didn't happen. Dasyat kan?

Nak blah memang boleh. Diri kita sendiri kena kuat. Kalau jenis mcm Cahaya yang tak sampai hati ni, gamaknya Cahaya akan stay je sbb Cahaya akan risaukan dia (for case yg pengsan tu la). Yang lain2 tu, selalunya Cahaya punya excuse memang tak munasabah. So, memang susah gak nak lari.

CAHAYA said...

Luffy,

Ada kenal yg macam ni? Ceritalah, apa lagi! :)

-----------------------------------------------------------

As,

Boleh je. I dah surf, rasanya Munchhausen syndrome, where they will try to catch people attention and show that their ill.

CAHAYA said...

HEMY,

Haha. Aku dah baca dah cerita kau. Yeah! Betul la tu. Orang2 macam ni memang saja buat scene. Nasib baik time sekolah tu tak dibogel nye terus. Ada ke nak main pengsan2. Ingat orang takde keje lain nak usung dia sana sini. Bengong!

Kes macam tu la kes 1. Ada kadang2 tu yg jenis sakit je. Lebih2 lagi bila orang x layan dia, or dia bergaduh ngan sape2. Lama2 orang muak dan malas nak layan. Pandai2 la makan ubat.

CAHAYA said...

Anonymous,

I've tried spoke to them in private, public and even do it in sarcastic ways. It didn't work at all. They will only change on that particular time and they will repeat the same thing on the next day. Kinda give up anyways.

Walk-away always work. And I'm still practicing it, but not to 'passed out' cases. I'm worried about them, even I know they will wake up any minute after.

Seeking attention in kitchen? How?

zamspotte said...

They are just some of the hypocrite illness, that can attack people everywhere... be careful, we are also can be addict to this illness... (haha... I guest) (sori kalo tak kelakau)

CAHAYA said...

Hmm. Maybe. We'll never know.

As said...

hait that's sooo true...biasanya lonely people yang buat gitu. They need attention..need sumone to concern about them..

CAHAYA said...

As,

I'm lonely too. But I will not go until that extend to catch people attention. I like the attention to be last long. This kinda catch won't do much.

Attention is the same as respect. If you want it, try to earn it. And treat people the way you want them to treat you. It sure will works.