Yakin.

Ku tawarkan cinta,
Kau balaskan lara,
Tapi aku redha,
Ku YAKIN kudratNya,
Tidak ku memaksa,
Malah ku percaya,
CINTA penakluk semua.


p/s: My heart still ache. Ouch!
2nd p/s: Happy Birthday to my sis, Jamie and Cik Siti.

Keeping the Pieces.

Scary isn't it?
Image taken from GoogleImage.

We're human. We make mistakes. We mis estimate. We call it wrong.

When something goes wrong, we tried to correct it. We make amendments. And sometimes, it is just a temporary fix. We have to keep on and on fixing the same 'something' that went wrong. We struggle for it. It will last forever. No one knows when its gonna end.

I like to think that my body (and soul) are made of pieces. Pieces that keep everything together. Bit by bit. Inch by inch. And the list goes on.

And sometimes the pieces just break. Without alarm. Either it's cause by me. Or someone else.

I don't know about you. But it's me. My life is in pieces. All the time. It just keep breaking. Soonest I fix one, another one goes down. It's kinda hectic. But I love it. Every bit of the process.

I'm not complaining nor frustrating. I just want to keep it together. Piece by piece. All. Even if it's broken - permanently.

p/s: Broken-hearted today. And I don't think it ever fix. :(

Currently.

I have no idea what to post lately. Kinda have 'nothing'.

So, here you go.

Currently:-

1) Not busy and happy.
2) Single and looking.
3) Just got back from 2-days off day to FOREVERLAND.
4) Listening to Yuna and Estrella.
5) Having fun with some new friends.
6) Reading 3 books in a day.
7) Missing some old friends.
8) Eating once a day.
9) Working night shift till the end of the month.
10) In a way to sign the agreement of new house tomorrow. Yeay!


p/s: I'm so blessed with people around me lately. :)

For Girls Only.

“Connie, do you know why that little boy did those things? Because he likes you.”

“We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you.”

- from a movie, 'He's Just Not That Into You'.

'He's Just Not That Into You' is a very simple and pretty straightforward movie. I went to watch it last night with Intan. It's romantic, funny and too much of everything kinda chick flick. Girls might like it. Guys, I'm not sure. I've seen guys laughed out loud in the cinema just now. But, none of them were came in single. This movie kinda make me wants to evaluate what's going on with my personal relationships though. So I like it. I wanna read the book too.

Like Gigi in this movie, I'm somehow like to reserve myself with my-so-called-own-excuses when the guys I've dated didn't call me back after the first date. True enough what Alex, one of the character said, where guys will definitely call if he wants to call. And same goes to if they want to go out or move forward - he'll definitely gonna tell, he definitely will make it work!

There's no such things as he might lost my number or anything. Or even if maybe he got hit by a cab or out of town. He's just not that into me. As simple as that!

When I was a little girl, I've been taught a lot of stuffs. Stuffs like we shouldn't trim our own bangs or else something bad will happen to you and stuff like when guys being or act like a jerk, punches or said bad things to you, that's just means he likes you. Funny. But, I'm kinda conned into that too.

My childhood thoughts also been abducted to something like - there's a guy for every each one of us and we will definitely get to our own happy ending. Every movie we saw, every story we read, make us want to wait for it. To wait for the 'right' person who we kinda believe as 'our own happy ending.' We just have to wait for the simple 'twist' and add some faith in it. He just need to make the declaration and he's all ours by exception. I like to believe that. Too much to be true, right? But, I still wanna believe.

But sometimes, too much of focusing to find the ultimate 'the one' or 'the happy ending' make us forget to see or read the signs. We tend to forget, after all this is a game for two. And it's definitely not only about one person, us. This movie made me realized about some signs that I actually ignored. The signs which pretty crystal clear. We really can tell whether the other person really wants to be with us and the person who don't. Same goes whether they wanna stay or leave at the end of the day.

Maybe happy ending is not about being together. You and me. But something else. Something like picking up all the pieces and moving on. Maybe it's fated that way. And he - the one who didn't returns our calls or messages, the one who ditches us and the one who embarrassed to be with us; are just not really for us. And they actually don't deserve to be with anybody. Keep the faith going on, will ya? I will. God works in mysterious way.

So to be exact, this 'He's Just Not That Into You', indeed, made me see that there's hope after all in this crazy world of love.

All girls should watch this. Definitely recommended!

p/s: alamak, tak sedar dah tulis panjang sangat. Ada ke orang baca ni?
p/s/s: Today is Ju's birthday. Happy Birthday Ju. Wish you many happy returns. Sushi yuk!

Birthdays.

@ Mak's house and the after party at Tony Roma, Cineleisure Damansara.

22/3/2009 - My little brother, Luqman turned 15 on this date.

Luqman,

You're way way taller than the rest of us for a while now. Wish you many more years to come and make good decision in life. I'm sorry if sometimes I'm being an absent sister to you. I'm sorry if sometimes I broke your heart with my unfulfil promises. But you're one good boy and never really take it to your heart. You're the only one that can make Mak stop crying. And me too. I always love you and really hope that you can hang on a little bit more with our family 'challenges'. Pity that you've to go through with all this nonsense. Wish you a merry birthday and Good Luck on your PMR too baby. :)

29/3/2009 - It was my Mum's birthday. Her 57th birthday.

Mak,

I wonder how you do things the way you do. I wonder how you manage to look so good at your age. I wonder how you've been so calm whenever our 'ship' almost turns into two. And I've come to a conclusion. It's simply because you're one in a million. Simply special and different from the rest. You're simply the best, for what you've given others, for how you've treated and helped others, for all the love and care you've given especially to us. You truly deserve the best in everything. Too bad 'he' can see all this in you Mak. But why bother what 'he' can see in you. We're always here to give you all the TLC you need. I know it isn't easy but InsyaAllah we'll get through this together. Thanks for giving birth to me 28 years ago. Thanks for taking care and showered me with all your motherly love. Thanks for giving me solid roots and strong wings which when I fly, you felt confident and rest assured. Thank you Mak for all the love you shared, the care you showed and given to all of us. I love you so much Mak and have a blessed 57th birthday. :)

Intan in purple

8/4/2009 - Intan's 28th Birthday

A good friend, a very good friend of mine, Intan, celebrates her 28th Birthday on this date. We went to Chilli's @ One Utama for usual ritual dinner of the month. Wish you a very happy birthday and many years to come. Thanks for being my BFF (nak jugak guna term ni, boleh?) and such lovely company for almost 10 years now (wah, lamanya!).

Next week, 16th April, is Juita's birthday. Ju, nak celebrate mane ni? TGI nak tak? I wanna see you standing on the chair in the restaurant full of people. Not to forget, we will get free brownies too. :P Jom jom.

p/s: Luckily my birthday dah lepas. Haha.

When they say they NEED you.

I received a phone call yesterday from an old friend last night. Not a while ago, as I remembered he wished not to be in contact with me ever again. The reasons? He said his gf don't like it. Whatever. I don't care either.

The conversation went like this;

F: You, you buat apa?
C: Err, keje kot. Kan pukul sebelas ni.
F: You sihat ke?
C: Sihat je.
F: Dah makan?
C: Dah tadi.
F: Rindu la kat you. Lama tak jumpa. You la, sombong sangat.
C: Ohh. Mana ada. Bz sikit la.
F: I need you. You tak miss I ke?

Bla bla bla. *went about 10minutes before I cut his next 'cheesy' line.

C: Apesal call? You call I ni gf you tak marah ke?
F: Can I come over? Jom la minum. Catch up for the ol' time sake.
C: Hish you ni, I keje kan? Kenapa ni, apesal call?
F: Ohh lupa plak. Ha you, I nak mintak tolong, you boleh tolong tak?
C: Nak mintak tolong apa?
F: You cakap la you boleh tolong ke tak?
C: Mana lah I tahu, you cakap je la apa dia.
F: I dah abis ikhtiar dah ni. Usahanya untuk mendapatkan RM250 malam ini jugak.
C: Untuk apa?
F: I nak pinjam dari you la.
C: Ye la untuk apa?
F: I akan guna duit ini sampai 15hb. I akan bayar balik 15hb nanti.
C: Err, takdelah.
F: Ok bye.
*Click.

I smiled. What happen with 'catch up for the ol' time sake'? He obviously needs someone to finance him. That's all. And I'm definitely not the one. And there's no such thing as 'catching up' in his case. Quite sad with the long 'mukadimah' where he said he misses me, NEEDs me and all. Sometimes people can act stupid (or maybe they just plain stupid) when it comes to the NEED of money.

Haha. Pathetic!

Friendship, THE 'SHIP'.

In the sweetness of friendship; let there be laughter and the sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. - Kahlil Gibran

It's been a while since I posted the last entry. It has been a very busy week with all the quarter reporting and training. I hardly catch a glimpse over my blog. And of course, yours too. Please accept my sincere apology. I plan better next time.

I went to Pengkalan Balak last Saturday. It was my first time and I never expect that we had quite a clean beach over there. My expectation was just something like Port Dickson's beach or any polluted beaches I've been in Malaysia. The whether was nice, err, for me, maybe. I've spent quite a lot of time hibernating because of the rain. The best time to go out on beach was during noon (the sun really hit my sensitive skin, err, dah merah dah!) and at night, where some of my friends had fun swimming naked. Me? I don't think so.

I had accompanied by 15 good peoples and friends during the 'escape'. It was last two years the last time we had a vacation together. I had fun. I had a good laugh (which I always do) and good food as well. Since I spent most of the time hibernating, I've missed the fun cooking and preparing together with them. But luckily, there were few master chefs was born that night. We had the best BBQ ever with 11 marinated chickens, sausages and kerang.

Speaking about friends and friendship, I'm blessed with good friends around me and the SHIP that I've built with them along the way. I've learned a lot from them. I bet they know me better than I'm myself.

Thanks Allah for all this chances. Alhamdulillah.

As time goes by, I still wanna build more SHIPS in the future. And I hope it's with YOU. Yes, YOU. Whoever, wherever and whenever. I want YOU to be my friend, and we can have that SHIP together. I will treasure YOU, insyaAllah.

So take care my friends. Till next time.

p/s: I'm alone at the office. Blame the person who did the schedule. Buduh!

Cuti2 Kuching.

As you all know, Juita and I went to Kuching recently. By recently, err, I mean last month. We had a great time and makan2 all over Kuching. I enjoyed the company of my aunts, uncles and the almost-whole family while visiting Kuching. It was so nice to catch up after 1 year-plus apart. And the best part, I'm already a granny. Gosh!

I'm sorry that I took my own sweet time to upload my Kuching holiday's pictures to FB and this blog. The reason being maybe because I didn't take much pictures (nice pictures) while in Kuching and totally rely on Ju's new DLSR (I'm her model, okay). And now, Ju still having her 'time' to upload it.

Don't worry Ju, I'll wait, no matter what. Haha.

So guys/gals, ENJOY! :P

Day 1 - Day at the Museum. LOL.

My cravings. Haha.
From top-left, Kolok Mee, Nasi Love (previously was RedBlood's fav), Swee Kang's Rojak, Sotong Kangkung, ABC and Ais Jagung. And lastly, penyaram. :P

Waterfront and Main Bazaar

Day 2 - Tun Jugah's Food Gallery

Pasir Pandak's Beach and Santubong

2nd Night - Bukit Mata Seafood Centre, Medan Kereta. Before AF7's concert.
Bloated! We ordered the smallest portion. We had our own version of 6-course menu. And it was only rm60 and drinks included. So cheap!

2nd Night - After watching AF7's concert, hang-out at Ju's favorite place.

And lastly, some of my dearest relatives.
Thanks so much.
Jasamu dikenang.