Happy. Alhamdulillah.

Happy. Happy. Happynyer. Berbaloi minggu tidak best minggu lepas. Minggu ni semua falls into my direction. Alhamdulillah. :)

Bermula dari hari Rabu. Kawan Cahaya yang jauh di mata dah pulang ke Malaysia. Sampai² dia call. Cerita kat dia pasal minggu lepas yang sangat sakit jiwa. Dia buat Cahaya gelak dengan satu gambar tumbuhan. Dia send MMS gambar tumbuhan tu. Dia cakap tu pokok Mak dia. Mak dia selalu experiment ikut buku. So, itulah hasilnya. Cahaya gelak everytime tengok gambar tu.

Best! Thanks Shah. You're always the best.

Nah! Ini gambarnya. Every tips daun tu ade kulit telur. Cute kan?

Malam, having a few cups of coffee dengan Shah @ Oldtown, Damansara. Kamera abis bateri. Ciss. Geram btol. We still LOL over the picture he sent to me earlier. Lepas minum sampai muntah coffee. Baru gerak. I'm back to my crib at Damansara. His, in Melaka.

Hari Khamis agak smooth. Siang sibuk training new agent. Then malam, berFB sampai lebam. Haha. Pastu, makan² di William dengan my beloved housemates. Dah lama kan kami tak makan together². We had Nasi Goreng Ketam and Seafood Carbonara. Kenyang bangat! Faisal Admar, jgn jeles yer. :)



Esok. Nak keluar dengan kawan2. Kawan2 masa MMU dulu. Nana, dah ada 2 anak. Kami bertiga. Blom kawen pun. Haha. Rezeki dia kan?

So, Cahaya minta cuti. Mula² berat gak hati nak amik AL awal² tahun ni. Dah la amount AL tu amatlah sedikit. Huhu. :( Tapi, kawan punya pasal. Amik jugak.

Jadual shift bulan depan dah keluar. Cahaya cuti 4 hari. Ahad, Isnin, Selasa, Rabu. Malam Khamis baru masuk balik. Huhu. Lama kan?

Pastu, mintak kat boss, cuti Rabu tu ganti untuk esok.

Alhamdulillah. Application GRANTED!
So tomorrow, all the single ladies day-out. :)

Wow. Best! Takde la membazir AL ku. :)

Nak cuti² la. Cuti 3 hari. Mane nak pegi ni? :)

p/s: Semalam dah bgtau dia. Alhamdulillah. Semua OK. :)

What a week!

friend1, me, friend2

Hmm. Where to start?

Minggu lepas. Tak best. Sangat tak best. Since Monday, ada je hal. Ade je yang cari pasal.

Monday
Internal circulation kata tak boleh bawak laptop pegi ofis. I fight about this dengan superior. And as usual, kaksu rambut kembang tu akan cari pasal. Over and over. Letih kan?

Tuesday
Circulation on speaking using your mother tongue is not allowed. tapi banyak je yang still cakap Tamil. But, I don't care. Pandai2 la u ols.

Wednesday
The shooting day. Still, my workload pending like hell. And there were few callsback to be made. Pastu ada malaun kata, Cahaya linient sangat. Bagi muka orang nak cakap Tamil ke, Mandarin ke kat ofis. Hello. I don't care la. Kalau kamu nak issue warning letter, issue je la. Jangan bising boleh tak?

Thursday
Something happen! Ruined my mood for the rest of the day. And so on.

Friday
Alone. Lonely. Late to office. No parking. Jalan jammed! What a f**king friday is it? Pay my bills over CDM and my card kena telan. Sakit hati kan? I've cried in front of Citibank for 2 hrs.

Saturday
Movie. Wait for my friend1 for hours to turn up. Shit! I hate waiting. Ops! Then, bowling. Then, gaduh dengan my friend2. Gaduh ke? Ntah la. Dia gaduh ngan bf dia. Then lepas kitorang semua. And I hate to take ownership over someone else's fault.

Sunday
My friend3 supposed to pay my rm900 back! Hello. I'm broke, okay!

Monday (CNY1)
Another lonely day. Working! But, ending best! :) Thanks baby.

Tuesday (CNY2)
My friend2 fr Saturday thingy mintak maaf. But, she didn't realize pun ape mistake dia. SO, What's the point?

I hate people say sorry just for the sake of saying it. What's the point of saying it if you don't know what have you done and really feel sorry about it? I really hate it.

I just hope she will realize why I'm doing this. You just missing the point here. She kept telling me that we're all kawan dunia akhirat dia. But, ape yang dia dah buat, tak macam kawan dunia akhirat pun. Dia kata, apa² kami buat, dia takkan buang kami. Itu dia, dan kami tak penah pun buat dia. Ini bukan sekali, dan Cahaya tak rasa ini bukan juga kali terakhir. I have strong feeling about that. Selagi dia tak realize ape yang dia dah buat, don't bother minta maaf.

She kept reminding me over and over about kebaikan dia dah buat pada kami. Dan takkan kami nak buang macam tu je. Takde sape buang sape, dia yang buat hal. Dia yang buang kami. Kami still bagi chance. Tapi sampai bila kan? Manusia ada sabarnya.

Biarlah dia realize ape yang dia dah buat. Cahaya taknak benda ni jadi lagi. Kalau terus bagi muka, mesti dia tak hargai. Macam ape dia dah buat kat friend1 sblm ini. Friend1 memang jenis tak sampai hati. Pemaaf. Dan pelupa juga. Hehe. So, bila dah jadi lagi, dia akan tanya, kenapalah dia bagi lagi chance? Haha.

I can still be your friend, but don't expect too much! Jangan cakap tak pilih dia sebab kitorang. We never ask you to do that. Jangan bebankan kami.

P.S. I Love You.

I've read the book. The book by Cecilia Ahern.

And I've seen the movie too.

I'm still like the book more than the movie. I can feel what Holly really felt. The lost. The loneliness. Everyone around you just keep moving. Till you don't know how to catch up. You just forget how to catch up. You just need guidance.

There was few changes in the movie but the flows still in there.

Still think the book-version better. :)

One thing I like about the movie. There's one song. I like it so much.

The Pogues - Love You 'Till The End

I just want to see you
When you're all alone
I just want to catch you if I can
I just want to be there
When the morning light explodes
On your face it radiates
I can't escape
I love you 'till the end

I just want to tell you nothing
You don't want to hear
All I want is for you to say
Why don't you just take me
Where I've never been before
I know you want to hear me
Catch my breath
I love you 'till the end

I just want to be there
When we're caught in the rain
I just want to see you laugh not cry
I just want to feel you
When the night puts on its cloak
I'm lost for words don't tell me
All I can say
I love you 'till the end

P.s. I love you. I love you till the end.

Shooting @ Office.

It was on Wednesday. The Shooting. Bukan tembak menembak. Tapi shooting filem gitu. Haha. The 'higher' authority decided mahu kami di'video'kan. Atau lebih tepat lagi. Nak buat corporate video gitu.

Ada 2 part, 1 yang panjang (panjang mana? wallahualam). Dan yang pendek. Yang pendek ini untuk iklan² dalam TV. But I doubt ade muka kami pun. Haha. So dimemperkenalkan 2 pelakon handalan yang memang sangat pandai berlakon semalam. Haha.

Nazir & Adi

Cahaya ambil gambar sorok2. Huhu. Kang kena marah pulak. :) Seronok tgk kamera sana sini, geram! Nak satu. Hehe.

Finally, A Clean Start.

Thanks ALLAH for all this.

Thanks ALLAH for the opportunity.

I felt so relieved. It's really a fresh start.
I will do my best. Pray for me.

I Can't Help Not to Talk about This.

AJL 23. Semua dah tahu siapa yang menjulang Juara Lagu ke-23 kan? Meet Uncle Hussien memang sangat 'rawks' pada hari itu. Dan 'Lagu Untukmu' sudah semakin berhantu ('haunted' gitu!).

Apa yang Cahaya tulis kali ini bukanlah pasal lagu ini, mahupun kumpulah MUH itu. Tapi kenangan sewaktu mula² dengar lagu ini berkumandang di radio. Mula² dengar, menyampah je. Ops! Yelah, cara nyanyian yang tak biasa kan? Dan sebutan 'mu' di hujung itu seakan 'miu'.

Cahaya dah di'haunted' lagu ini selepas pertama kali mendengar. Dan seingat Cahaya, bulan puasa time tu. So setiap kali bangun sahur, Cahaya akan masak dan menyanyi lagu ini. Terus satu rumah bangun sebab sangat dengki akan sebutan 'miu' Cahaya yang melebihi MUH sendiri. Haha. Padan muka korang.

Cahaya kejut semua orang selama sebulan dengan lagu itu. Walaupun diorang dah bangun. Haha. Macam dah kena 'possessed' je. Haha. Dan Adik Cahaya selalu jerit, "Diamlah, orang tak nak makan. Orang tak nak bangun." Haha. :)

Ada sekali waktu MUH datang ke Tronoh untuk Konsert Hotlink. Penyanyi utama itu menari tak hengat sampai terbelit mic, shades jatuh dan pecah. Pastu dia baling kat audience. Masa time tu, dalam hati cakap. "Apehal la dia ni gelabah sangat!" Haha. Style masing² kan. Itulah namanya artis (art gitu kan?) Setiap gerak geri adalah seni. Dan itu mungkin cara dia 'layan' time tu. :) Wallahualam.

Cahaya ni pelik kot. Setiap kali Cahaya benci sesuatu lagu atau movie. Lagi kuat ingatan terhadap lirik dan jalan ceritanya. Kenapa eh?

Lama² dengar, sedap la pulak lagu itu. Setiap kali berkumandang di radio sehingga sekarang ini, Cahaya akan menjerit² sakan dalam kereta menyanyi sambil 'exagerate' lebih part 'miu' tu. Yelah, Cahaya punya radio dalam kereta je. Hehe.

Lepas 'Lagu Untukmu', lagu 'Pari² di Bawah Angin' pun sangat layan. Dan Cahaya 'looking forward' untuk lagu² lain dari MUH. Anda tidak membosankan Cahaya. At least Cahaya akan ada lagu untuk menyanyi musim bulan puasa akan datang. Hehe.

Gambar dari guaMuzik

Tiada bintang
Dapat menerangkan hati yang telah dicela
Bagai ku lumpuh tak mampu berdiri
Aku tetap begini takkan berubah kerna

Aku tetap aku dan alur hidup mu bukanlah aku
Guna hati akal dan fikiranku
Berbeza engkau dan juga aku
Dua hati yang tak mungkin bersatu
Adakah aku
Hanya boneka yang sering engkau mainkan

Yang dikawal oleh jari jarimu
Ku punya hati dan perasaan
Pernahkah engkau fikirkan
Cukup-cukuplah oh cukuplah
Guna hati akal dan fikiranmu
Berbeza engkau dan juga aku
Dua hati yang tak mungkin bersatu

Tak tahan tak tahan
Sabarku tak tertahan
Melayan sikapmu perawan

Berbeza berbeza
Kau dan aku berbeza
Kita memang tak serupa

Bebaskan
Ku ingin dilepaskan
Kita tidak sehaluan

Cukuplah sudahlah
Sampai disini sahaja
Hubungan kita berdua

You Know Yourself

Appraisal. It was 1st month of the year. So, we're rated by our performance(s) to determine how 'much' we will get for our BONUS. Hehe.

As far that I know, last month, they told us that BONUS will be FREEZE until further notice. Now with the appraisal and all. I don't think there will be any FREEZING around.

More on, how much that each of us will get. How many month(s)? Will they give the amount that I would say - satisfied?

I was evaluated by another boss. Means, I have never experienced working with him directly. Except for monitoring few months back. He said I am too 'cornered' with books, TV-series and should communicate more with my colleagues. He said I am too quiet.

Haha. I smiled. :)

I told my colleagues about the appraisal comments. And they laughed. And now, I will should communicate more. Hehe.

Try this test!

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals,

a Lion...., a Chimpanzee , a Giraffe... and a
Squirrel... who pass by.

They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.

Who do you guess will win?

Your answer will reflect your personality.

So think carefully . . . Try and answer within 30 seconds !!!

Got your answer?

Type your answer(s) in the comment box. :)

p/s: I've got this from my email. :)

Jalan² Singapura 29/12-31/12

Hari tu kan Cahaya pi Singapore dengan 2 housemates Cahaya. So, tengok² lah gambar. Gambar tak menipu kan? Hehe. Ops!

Kitorang naik bas. Hehe. Tido je la kan dalam bas tu. Nak membaca, pening rasa kepala. Gambar kat Arrival Hall tu sebenarnya tak leh amik. Encik Guard tu dah 'Neng2' kan Cahaya. Hehe. Sorry.

Sampai je, bas berhenti betul2 depan Golden Mill Foodcourt. Terus makan Sup Tulang Merah. First time cuba, rasanya, takkan cuba lagi kot. Hehe. Merah sesangat. Nak makan Ayam Penyet, tapi kedai tutup plak. Awal Muharram masa time sampai tu. :)

Esok pagi, terus gi cari Murtabak Singapore. Hehe. Portion sangat besar, ni yang paling kecik tau. Satu ayam, satu daging. Share 3 orang. Kenyang sampai petang. :)

Lepas makan, cari tiket bas balik. Kat area Beach Road jugak. Pastu jalan² Orchard sampai lebam. Tak shopping pun. Penat berjalan je. Hehe. Tak sanggup mak. Adoi.

Malamnya, kitorang pegi makan Nasi Ayam famous gitu kat Singapore. Order macam², maklumlah, last makan waktu pagi. Waktu makan murtabak tu. Hehe. Pastu sambung jalan² Orchard lagi. Nak tengok wayang, nak tengok Muallaf. Muallaf yang Yasmin Ahmad tu. Tapi dah abis tayang plak. Kenapa tak tayang kat Mesia. Huhu. Nak tengok!

Hari last, pegi area HarbourFront. Jalan² kat VivoCity. Mula² tak nak shopping. Lepas tu, tgk lah shopping bags. Taknak shopping konon. Hehe. Girls, mane leh tinggal shopping kan? Wajib. Souvenier kan? Souvenier utk diri sendiri. Hehe.

Malam tu, malam new year. So sambut new year atas bas. Mamat depan Cahaya borak ape ntah. Dia cerita business dan citer pasal Damansara. Hello, Cahaya dok sini dah nak dekat 5 tahun. Malas nak layan. Buat² tgk jalan. Pastu tido. Best. Tahu² je dah sampai KL.

p/s: Thanks Hasna sebab tumpangkan kami. Hehe. Thanks gurls, I had fun!

Festive@KLCC.

Everyone knows that KLCC is one of the TALLEST office building in the world.

And it came to my attention was the decor during every festive seasons. Everything were so GIGANTIC, TALL, and GIANT. Sesuai dengan nama kan?

CNY lantern. Chomel kan? Merah. Meriah. Suka. Suka.

Pokok krismas GIANT. Hehe. Gingerbread dalam Shrek 3rd kiyut. Lollipop. Candy.

DeepaRaya. GIANT pelita dan ketupat. Pelita India pun ada. Santek kan?

Here some pictures for those failed to experienced it first-hand.

~~'Time raya kismas, ada pokok besar, time raya cina, ada lantern bagak. time raya? pondok buruk je.' ~~Mag

p/s: Mag, ada la ketupat dan pelita, ingat pondok buruk je ke? Buat dosa je. Tak elok tau.

Tagged by F.A.

yucks. Ambil dari sini.

1. Have you ever been on TV?
Never. But, I want to. Hehe.

2. Have you ever sung in public?
At my cousin wedding in Kuching. And after that I've sang more than 10 weddings. Gila kan?

3. Have you ever dyed your hair blond?
Nope. I prefer natural color.

4. Have you ever eaten frogs' legs?
Never and I won't in trillion years.

5. Have you ever received a present that you really hated?
Nah. I'm blessed with intelligent-have-good-taste-in-gift friends.

6. Have you ever walked into a lamp post?
Not yet.

7. Have you ever cooked a meal by yourself for more than 15 people?
Always. Cook for 20 ppls but ate by 6ppls. Boleh?

8. Have you ever fallen or stumbled in front of others?
Yeah. Last time I pretend to look for my contact lenses. (Did I wear any? Hehe)

9. Have you ever done volunteer work?
Sometimes.

10. Who's next?
Skully, Yonna, Arep, Kak Izan, Kniedaz, dan Anda!

ByeBye Yaya.

gambar² kat ofis semalam sblm Yaya balik

Huhu. Ari ni Cahaya demam. Sebabnya, menangis kaw kaw punya masa last day Yaya semalam. Yaya, kawan se'ofis' Cahaya yang akan pergi buat kursus KPLI. Tak jauh, dekat je, kat Cheras tu. Tapi melalak bagai nak rak. Sampai hilang suara Cahaya ni ha. Huhu. Cerita tentang Yaya ni. Yaya seorang yang keras hati, tak ambil port langsung ape orang lain gossip. Yaya ni rajin orangnya, dengar kata, dan tak mudah diperkotak katikkan (walaupun dia agak katik sedikit. Huhu). Pemberi pendapat yang tidak 'bias' dan menerima pendapat orang seadanya. Sayang kat Yaya. Jumpa lagi. Jangan lupa kami kat sini. Huhu. :(

wt Nazri and Yaya

BF Yaya, si Nazri, pindah tahun lepas, area² waktu ni jugak, jadi Cikgu dah. si Nazri tu dapat posting kat Sabah, kat Kota Marudu. Haha. Kesian Yaya, BF jauh di perantauan. Kesian Cahaya jugak, kehilangan kawan. :(

Diharapkan Yaya dan Nazri berjaya jadi pendidik. Mendidik anak nusa bangsa sehingga jadi orang berguna. Chaiyokkk²!

p/s: Cahaya nak jadi Cikgu gak. Nak jadi Cikgu Maths. Boleh?

Finished!

I bought it yesterday. And finished it in just one seating (walaupun tgh baring). Haha. I'm now craving for more and more books.

What's next? Any suggestion?

Are YOU okay?

At 3.10pm. A phone call conversation from a long-lost-ex-bf-whom-now-married-with-2-children.

Shah: Hey girl. *sexy tone (I guess he just woke up!)
Cahaya: Hey you! What's up? *curious (dia ni horny ke?)
Shah: Are YOU okay? *still in sexy tone
Cahaya: I'm fine. You sounded sleepy. Baru bangun ke? (try to make my mind of the horny part. haha!)
Shah: I just had a BAD dream. Somehow I know I have to call you to make sure you're okay. That's why I'm calling.
Cahaya: That's so sweet. Thanks. Now get back to sleep. Bubye you. *curious, blur
Shah: Bye darl. Muahs.

*Click. confused.

At 8.05pm. Received another phone call from ex-boss.

Tapa: Hello baby. *ceria sangat suara orang tua ni.
Cahaya: Hello. Wah, cerianya! Ada berita baik ke ni? *ceria jugak. tapi confused. apesal dia ni tiba² call. dia biase call bila project million² kitorang jalan. or muka dia dalam paper lagi. maklumlah. artis.
Tapa: Are YOU okay? *erk! soalan ni lagi?
Cahaya: Okay je. Kenape? *curious
Tapa: Takde. Saje je tanya. *silent
Cahaya: Kalau takde ape, I nak sambung keje, okay? Bye. Talk to you later. *soalan larikkkk
Tapa: Okay.

*Click. masih confused.

At 8.57pm. Another phone call from ex-bf.

Azri: Hi YOU. *mendatar je.
Cahaya: Hi. *blur.
Azri: Are YOU okay? *lebih la ni kan, dah 100 kali soalan ni je.
Cahaya: I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm perfectly okay. And I'm 200% sure! Kenapa ari ni ramai sangat tanya I okay ke tidak? *tiba² emo. sabar. sabar.
Azri: Hehe. Dunno. *gelak plak!
*silent
Azri: I text, I YM, you tak jawab pun. Tu pasal la tanya.
Cahaya: Owh. I busy kot! Now pun busy.
Azri: Ohh, baiklah Cik Cahaya, sambunglah keje. U take care.
Cahaya: Okay. U too.

*Click. Sangat² confused.

I've got this 'Are YOU okay?' question since morning. Starting with my lil' brother. And then, my sister. And my colleagues when I've reached office. And now it's creepy.

Wallahualam. Minta² takde ape yang jadi.

p/s: Tonight, my parents pulang dari menunaikan fardhu Haj. Rindu. :) Minta² semua okay!

A Second Chance, A NEW year.

Salam Maal Hijrah 1430H and Happy New Year 2009 to all.

Haha. I start my 2nd-day of new year by a phone call from my elder sis, battery keta mati! benci kan? Nak duit je. But, ada hikmah, InsyaAllah. And then, rush for work. I've scheduled to work 1pm shift this month. So, it's a full-no-life-month! Huhu. (what do you expect to do when you work 1pm-10pm everyday, and your off-day not fall on Saturday or Sunday?)

It has been a gloomy-not-so-sunny day today. I feel sad. I'm not sure if 'sad' is the right word to describe what I feel. Its there but still not the exact word to describe it. Gloomy? Yeah! Maybe. I can't sleep last night. Not really sleeping. I woke up in the middle of the night. Doing nothing. Doing exactly nothing. Nothing on my mind. Then, I cried. Heavy tears. Thinking about my family, my losses, my love. And my mistakes.

People make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, including me. None if us exclusive enough not to make mistakes.

People make mistakes and sometimes they hide it. They won't tell unless they have to, when they need to. Why? Why sometimes people don't wanna own up to their mistakes? Why sometimes they have to keep the secret to grave and have it bury underneath with them?

I did a lot of mistakes in the past. And I kept secrets too. But I'm not proud of it. Never. Sometimes, I woke up crying in the middle of the night. Regretting that I made that stupid mistakes. I know I can't go back in time to make amendments of the past.

That's why I need second chance. I want to start 'that' part. The part where I make it right. Make it better. Better than yesterday, better than before. Better than last year.

I'm asking You. Please. I want a second chance. I want a NEW year. I hope it was off to a good start. :)

p/s: one can only hope. :(